I used to struggle so much..rising kids, working full time as a physician, doing 36 hour night calls and running the house was such a challenge. I failed many times. I was too exhausted to be really present for my kids or family or even for myself. My mother used to plead with me to take some rest. I refused saying that I had no time to rest…
Does this sound like you? You have no quiet quality time for yourself.
One of my mentors shared with me a great story that opened my eyes. It pointed me in the direction of The Inside-Out Paradigm (the key psychology that all my training programs are based on)…
Imagine you and I are hired to coach a dog. Let’s call him Miles. Now, this dog has a serious issue. He’s been running around in circles trying to catch its own tail. He stops for a moment to talk to us for the coaching session.
Coach: So, what do you need?
Miles: Well, I have this goal: I’m chasing this thing, and it’s really fast. So I guess the first thing I need is more speed, so I can catch it. If I was about 20% faster, I would definitely catch it.
Coach: Okay… what else do you think you need?
Miles: I need more agility. It doesn’t matter how suddenly I pounce at it, this thing I’m chasing always manages to be one step ahead of me. So if I could just be more agile, maybe I could pounce into the right position to catch it.
Coach: Anything else…?
Miles: Yes, I need more stamina. I can literally chase this damn thing for hours and hours every day and it never runs out of energy! I think if I had maybe double the stamina, then I could definitely give it a run for its money.
You and I both know that the only thing that Miles actually needs is to realize that it’s been chasing its own tail. Miles probably thinks that catching the tail would give it something that the tail simply can’t give it (maybe Miles thinks it will be food, perhaps?)
Now, after we explain that to Miles, he might react in a couple of ways.
He might say “Ohhhh, it’s just my tail. Phew! That takes a lot off my mind! I have so much free time now to go and do something more fun, like chewing that bone…”
The other thing that Miles might say is “Ohhhh, it’s my tail. Okay. So, now that I ‘know’ it’s my tail, how do I catch it? Could you teach me a tail-catching strategy? I think I saw something on the internet about tails, maybe I’ll go and research it. I don’t know this is all just so overwhelming…”
If that was the reaction, we would know that Miles just doesn’t get it yet.
Here’s the point:
You’re chasing goals that, noble as they may be, can’t give you what you’re hoping they will. They can’t make you feel happy, peaceful or loved.
Ironically, achieving your goals won’t even make you feel accomplished. (I didn’t…)
Overcoming the challenges along the way to achieving them won’t make you feel strong. ( I did not…there was always another challenge to overcome..and the next.)
Nothing outside of you can give you what’s already inside of you. Not even achieving the Olympic gold will make you feel ‘good enough’.
Some people think that this Truth might make you un-motivated.
That’s not true. It makes you unstoppable.
So, if you’re ready to stop chasing your own tail, save a whole lot of pointless wasted energy, and become unstoppable in the pursuit of your dreams, then click here to have a short session with me to find out what can help you before you give up or get burned-out.
If you want to permanently eliminate the root cause of stress, so that you can take on a mind-set of relaxed focus and stress-free productivity, you need to click here to find out how.
Don’t go chasing your own tail!